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Colbert Says Trump Should Punish His Own Children, Not the ‘Dreamers’

‘I Hope He Doesn’t Bring Bin Laden Back’

Video by Late Night With Seth Meyers

Seth Meyers wanted to know why more Republican politicians do not oppose Mr. Trump — especially now, as DACA is broadly popular.

“Why do Republicans continue to stand by him? G.O.P. congressman Duncan Hunter summed up the core ideology of the modern G.O.P. best when he said of Trump on Friday to a group of Republicans, quote, ‘He’s an [expletive], but he’s our [expletive].’ Now, I’m not a licensed proctologist, but Congressman, there is something seriously wrong with your [expletive].” — SETH MEYERS

Jimmy Kimmel said that Mr. Trump seemed most interested in ending the program because his predecessor had enforced it.

“It seems like his main agenda is just to undo everything Obama did. I hope he doesn’t bring Bin Laden back to life.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

Welcome Back, Congress

Mr. Trump suggested on Tuesday that Congress should figure out how to replace DACA. Mr. Kimmel indicated that he wasn’t feeling rosy about that prospect.

“Congress is back to work today; they had a recess in the month of August. The nice thing about Congress going back to work is, it’s almost indistinguishable from Congress not going back to work.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

Dear Donald

Video by The Daily Show With Trevor Noah

Mr. Noah said the letter that former President Barack Obama left for Mr. Trump in the Oval Office read a bit like a primer on the basics of American values.

“I don’t even know if Trump realizes it, but that letter is just Obama throwing presidential shade — the entire time. That’s not the note you leave for your successor, right? You leave that note for a first-time babysitter. It’s like, ‘Dinner’s in the oven, bedtime’s at 7:00 — but not for you — and, P.S., the baby is the one without the fur. Thank you very much.’” — TREVOR NOAH

The Punchiest Punchlines (Korean War Edition)

“We were off for two weeks, and it’s interesting: When we left, we were busy revisiting the Civil War. Now we’re back with a good old-fashioned Korean War. So who says we’re not making progress?” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Some good news for travelers: The Pittsburgh airport is now letting travelers go all the way to the gate with their loved one. People are like, ‘Seriously? It was bad enough I had to give them a ride to the airport.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“I read that a sailboat near Greece that was in distress was busted for carrying 1,500 pounds of marijuana. Actually, the boat wasn’t actually in distress, it turns out it was just being paranoid.” — JIMMY FALLON

The Bits Worth Watching

“The sun will shine tomorrow or it will be executed.”

Video by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

These 3-year-olds in “paradise” seem to be utterly confused about why they’re in paradise.

Video by Jimmy Kimmel Live!

What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night

Mr. Noah will head to NBC’s studios for a conversation with a fellow late-night host, Mr. Meyers, on “Late Night.”

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Natalia Mantini for The New York Times

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