Home / Top News / How yelling at kids affects their happiness, success

How yelling at kids affects their happiness, success

Almost every parent yells at their child eventually, no matter how hard they try to stay calm.

“The best, most well-intentioned parents will lose it from time to time,” Jazmine McCoy, a clinical psychologist based in the Atlanta suburbs, tells CNBC Make It.

When those moments are uncommon, they probably won’t leave lasting damage to your relationship with your child, especially if you apologize for overreacting, says McCoy, a mother of three who is known as “The Mom Psychologist” to her social media followers.

But “if it’s constant and chronic, it can interfere with a child’s connection [to their parent],” she says.

McCoy tackles this subject often, hosting a free, 45-minute virtual workshop on her website about how to discipline your children without resorting to yelling. Keeping a calm head in overwhelming situations can help you develop your kids’ emotional intelligence and confidence, she says — which go a long way toward making them happier and more successful throughout their lives.

Here’s why yelling can be so damaging, how to identify your own triggers and what you should do the next time you catch yourself losing your cool, says McCoy.

The lasting negative effects of yelling

Why parents yell and how to spot your own triggers

Don’t forget to apologize

Especially in the social media age, you might feel held to an unrealistic standard of perfection — but parenting is hard, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed to the point of screaming at your kids, McCoy says.

If you can’t stop yourself before losing your temper, what happens next becomes incredibly important for maintaining a strong, trusting connection with your child. Apologizing “is incredibly healing and therapeutic” for both of you, McCoy says.

“I think one of the best things a child can hear from their parent is: ‘I’m sorry … I’m working on this and I’m not perfect,'” she adds.

Be clear about what you’re apologizing for, she advises. Let your child know that it’s your responsibility to calm yourself down, not theirs. Ask them how your yelling made them feel: Were they scared or hurt?

By doing that, you’re modeling good behavior for your child — showing them an appropriate way to behave after an outburst. You’re also inviting them to name and share their own emotions, which can help them develop their emotional intelligence.

“You open it up for them to share their emotions,” says McCoy. “And you’re welcoming them into the relationship to share their honesty, which again, goes to raising emotionally intelligent, successful kids.”

DON’T MISS: Want to be smarter and more successful with your money, work & life? Sign up for our new newsletter!

Get CNBC’s free Warren Buffett Guide to Investing, which distills the billionaire’s No. 1 best piece of advice for regular investors, do’s and don’ts, and three key investing principles into a clear and simple guidebook.

How I turned $175,000 into a Pilates company—and sold it for $88 million

About admin

Check Also

Jana sees big upside in this unusual technology play serving industries like construction

Visoot Uthairam | Moment | Getty Images Company: Trimble (TRMB) Trimble is a provider of …