Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. What do you think of it? What else are you interested in? Let us know: email@example.com.
Uniting the Nerds and the Jocks, At Least
All the major late-night shows on Wednesday continued denouncing President Trump’s defense of the right-wing protesters in Charlottesville, Va., last weekend.
James Corden pounced on Mr. Trump after chief executives resigned en masse from two presidential councils, leading Mr. Trump to disband the advisory groups altogether.
“The way these C.E.O.s are leaving Trump, you’d think they were married to him.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Forget creating new manufacturing jobs in this country. Trump can’t even manufacture manufacturing councils.” — JAMES CORDEN
“The C.E.O.s of Intel and Under Armour both resigned, which means somehow Donald Trump figured out a way to lose the nerds and the jocks at the same time.” — JAMES CORDEN
“The C.E.O. of the company 3M also resigned, and when Donald Trump asked why, they said that 3M doesn’t want to be associated with the three K’s.” — JAMES CORDEN
‘He Ended a Press Conference on a Cliffhanger’
The way Seth Meyers sees it, Mr. Trump was using questions about the future of the chief White House strategist Steve Bannon to build intrigue in the news media.
“When asked yesterday about his confidence in chief adviser and accused white nationalist Steve Bannon, President Trump said, ‘We’ll see what happens.’ This is how much Trump cares about ratings: He ended a press conference on a cliffhanger. ‘Will Steve Bannon lose his job? Will Mike Pence and his wife finally go all the way? Find out tomorrow on “As the World Burns.’” — SETH MEYERS
Mr. Meyers then took a look at the Twitter messages that Mr. Trump had posted in response to the departures of business leaders.
“Grandstanders. And you all know what grandstands are right? They were those empty things at his inauguration.” — SETH MEYERS
Free to Plagiarize
Stephen Colbert said that Mr. Trump was not being unclear with his statements to reporters this week, he was deliberately professing his affinity for white nationalism. Mr. Colbert quoted from a report that Mr. Trump felt “liberated” after delivering his news conference.
“Liberated. Free. Emancipated, if you will. ‘Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I’m free at last.’ You like that? Melania wrote that. She’s very good.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Nostalgia Edition)
“People are upset, and I understand why: The president handled a group of racists with kid gloves. I want to encourage you to keep an open mind here — maybe he did it because kid gloves are the only gloves that fit on his tiny little hands.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It’s crazy — I’m starting to miss the old days, when we were on the verge of nuclear war with North Korea.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
James Corden would really like to be Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s hype man.
Ellie Kemper was understandably enthusiastic to play with — and lie shamelessly about — some puppies.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Kathryn Hahn was recently nominated for an Emmy for her role in the comedy series “Transparent.” She’ll talk to Jimmy Fallon on Thursday.
Also, Check This Out
Hollywood remains an unwelcoming place for actors — particularly female actors — with bodies that do not conform to some limited standards of beauty. Danielle Macdonald is working to change that.
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