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Kimmel on Daredevil Weather Reporters
Some news coverage of Hurricane Harvey and Hurricane Irma has verged on overkill, as reporters withstand the same dangerous conditions they’ve advised viewers to avoid. Jimmy Kimmel says he knows why they’re diving into the storm: Phones are to blame.
“We don’t pay much attention to them anymore because we now get the weather on our phones. We don’t have to wait till the news comes on, it’s already in our pants. So as a result, weather is totally unnecessary on television now. You might as well be announcing what time it is. Instead of a map, you might as well put a big clock up on the wall and say, ‘Hey, it’s 8:14. In about 16 minutes, we’re looking at a chance of 8:30.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I think it’s important to recognize that these brave men and women risk everything for no good reason at all. And I applaud them for that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Mr. Kimmel also video chatted with the actress Kristen Bell, who was trapped in a Florida hotel that’s housing residents forced out of their homes. She took the call from the safety of the great indoors.
The Coast Guard’s ‘Brand’
President Trump praised the Coast Guard’s rescue work during the storms in a way only he seems to know how, noting that “no brand has improved more than the United States Coast Guard.”
“Branding? What are you talking about? The Coast Guard doesn’t need to improve their brand. They’re the Coast Guard. They’re not Arby’s, they’re not a bunch of people sitting around a boardroom table going, ‘O.K., look, people hate the Coast Guard. We need some razzle-dazzle, no idea is a bad idea. Yes, Thompson?’ ‘Uhh, what if they tried rescuing people during a hurricane?’ ‘That’s a freaking great idea!’” — SETH MEYERS
“Horror movie ‘It’ broke September box office records, earning over $123 million in North America. Because if we’ve learned anything this past year, it’s that terrifying clowns get great ratings.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Ketchup Edition)
“In a new interview with ‘60 Minutes,’ former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon said he thinks he’s a street fighter. And looking at him, I’d say the street won.” — SETH MEYERS
“The company that makes Heinz ketchup picked a 29-year-old to be its new C.F.O. He was a little shy at the press conference so they turned him upside down and slapped his bottom until some words came out.” — JIMMY FALLON
“A woman is suing Delta Air Lines because she broke a tooth on an in-flight meal. Delta apologized and said that under no circumstances should any of its passengers get an in-flight meal.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t love James Corden’s joke about healing crystals. (That’s partly because it wasn’t funny. But also because it was about her.)
Turns out Russell Westbrook is better at the real thing.
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Oscar speculation is swirling around Jennifer Lawrence after her starring role in the new psychological horror movie “Mother!” (Speculation is also swirling over what exactly that movie, directed by Darren Aronofsky, is about.) She’ll be on “The Tonight Show” on Tuesday.
Also, Check This Out
Louis C. K.’s new movie, “I Love You, Daddy,” doesn’t pull punches. It was met with wide applause and a little bit of revulsion at the Toronto International Film Festival.
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