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Scaramucci and Priebus
Late night feasted on the profane conversation that Anthony Scaramucci, the White House’s new communications director, had with The New Yorker magazine’s Ryan Lizza. In that chat he threatened to have Reince Priebus, the White House chief of staff, fired, and accused Mr. Priebus of leaking sensitive information. But on Thursday, Mr. Scaramucci said on CNN that he and Mr. Priebus are like “brothers,” but that some brothers are like “Cain and Abel.”
“Yeah, who knows? Some brothers are like Cain and Abel, some are like Mario and Luigi, O.K.? Who knows what will happen: Will we go down a pipe to save the princess, or will I bash his head in with a rock and then lie to God about it? Who knows? Am I my Priebus’s keeper?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“‘Reince Priebus was leaking’ sounds like a medical condition. ‘Oh, no, I just got out of the emergency room. My Reince Priebus was leaking.’” — JAMES CORDEN
Scaramucci’s High-Flown Health Care Dreams
Seth Meyers was thrown off by something else Mr. Scaramucci said: that the goal of the Republicans should be to let the free market take care of health care, as it does with airlines.
“No one wants health care to be like the airlines. ‘How was the hospital?’ ‘Not great! My surgery was three hours late, my bed was double-booked so they dragged me out of the O.R. and then they sent my appendix to Albuquerque.’” — SETH MEYERS
‘Did He List His Birthplace and It’s Actually Kenya?’
Mr. Trump is reportedly upset that Robert Mueller, the special counsel investigating Russia’s interference in the 2016 election, has begun looking into his financial records, which include tax returns.
“Why is Trump so scared of people seeing his tax returns? I’m genuinely flabbergasted. What could be worse than what we already know about him? Did he claim himself as Putin’s dependent? What is in the tax returns — did he list his birthplace and it’s actually Kenya?” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (Dr. Dre Edition)
“Taco Bell announced it would begin selling a ‘potatorito’ — which is beef, cheese, potatoes and chipotle spice wrapped in a tortilla — for $1. Or, for the same nutritional value, just eat the dollar.” — SETH MEYERS
“Jeff Sessions did for Donald Trump what Dr. Dre did for Eminem. Like, ‘Trust me — this crazy-ass white guy’s the real deal.’” — TREVOR NOAH, explaining why he thinks Mr. Sessions deserves Mr. Trump’s loyalty
The Bits Worth Watching
On “The President Show,” Anthony Atamanuik’s President Trump visits a focus group, and he has a hard time hearing people’s true feelings.
A boy can dream. Well, a boy’s dad.
Enjoy the Weekend
Have a great, leak-free weekend. We’ll be back here on Tuesday.
Also, Check This Out
Cheech Marin, of Cheech & Chong fame, has an impressive home collection of Chicano art. Here it is.
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