Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. What do you think of it? What else are you interested in? Let us know: firstname.lastname@example.org.
‘Just Like the Salem Witch Trials’
President Trump said on Twitter on Thursday that the investigation into his campaign’s ties to the Russian government was a “witch hunt.” The late-night hosts took a different view.
“Yes, it’s just like the Salem witch trials — when those young women were accused of witchcraft and then said, ‘We did witchcraft,’ in an interview with Lester Holt.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Mr. Trump’s statements about firing James Comey, the former F.B.I. director
“President Trump is under investigation for obstruction of justice. That was confirmed today, when President Trump said he is not under investigation for obstruction of justice.” — CONAN O’BRIEN
Jimmy Kimmel decided to investigate whether this was truly a witch hunt. He asked a witch.
How Trump’s Friends Wished Him a Happy Birthday
On Wednesday, the late-night hosts wished President Trump a happy birthday (sort of). The next night, Seth Meyers told us what kind of messages Mr. Trump’s friends — and enemies — were posting on his Facebook wall.
“Attorney General Jeff Sessions wrote: ‘I do not recall that today is your birthday, but if news reports suggest that it is, then it would be appropriate for me to wish you a happy birthday at this time, which I am not doing nor am I denying having done.’” — SETH MEYERS
“Sean Spicer wrote: ‘Happy Birthday! Please don’t make me tell the press there were 1.5 million people at your party.’” — SETH MEYERS
“Ben Carson wrote: ‘Merry Christmas.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Father’s Day Edition)
“The New York City Council says downgrading the offense will ‘divert 100,000 cases a year from a backlogged criminal justice system.’ One hundred thousand cases per year? No wonder sea levels are rising!” — STEPHEN COLBERT, reacting to news that the New York City Council has relaxed the law on public urination
“Sunday is Father’s Day, and the Trump kids are planning to give their father a tie. It’ll be the first time in a while that Trump has a tie that’s not linked to Russia.” — CONAN O’BRIEN
“The Senate today passed a bill that imposes new sanctions on Russia and allows Congress to stop President Trump from repealing them. Wow, even Congress doesn’t trust him. He’s like a 15-year-old kid who still gets a babysitter. ‘I’m not going to burn the house down, Mom!’ ‘This is our third house, Kevin.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
If you’ve been watching “The Tonight Show” over the past couple of weeks, you’ve known this moment was coming.
Are Mr. Sessions’s anti-marijuana campaigns all just a distraction tool?
Enjoy the Weekend
“The Tonight Show” kicks off next week with Will Ferrell as its guest. Should be fun. In the meantime, have a great weekend.
Also, Check This Out
Here’s our recap of the season finale for “The Handmaid’s Tale.”
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