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And ‘Godzilla Is a City Planner’
President Trump called himself a “problem solver” on Monday during his address on the war in Afghanistan. On “The Daily Show” the next night, Trevor Noah offered a second opinion.
“Yeah, Trump is a problem solver the same way Godzilla is a city planner. The only way Donald Trump can consider himself a problem solver is if he stops creating problems. ‘You guys are so lucky, I was about to do something — but I stopped myself! Problem pre-solved.’” — TREVOR NOAH
He said Mr. Trump’s speech hadn’t offered much in the way of specifics.
“While we do know that Trump has decided to send more troops to Afghanistan, that’s pretty much all we know. Trump’s actual strategy is like his position on Nazis: It’s unclear.” — TREVOR NOAH
Conan O’Brien wasn’t sure how responsible Mr. Trump was for preparing his prepared remarks.
“Before announcing his decision on Afghanistan, President Trump was said to have made a rigorous — that’s what his people are saying, ‘rigorous’ — review of the issue. Yes, Trump said: ‘I must have read at least four tweets about it.’” — CONAN O’BRIEN
Desi Lydic Weighs In
The “Daily Show” correspondent Desi Lydic donned a general’s uniform to get Mr. Trump’s attention, then offered a radical suggestion on handling the situation in Afghanistan.
“Afghanistan would make a perfect American state. It has tons of pickup trucks, guns and opiates. It’s got something for everybody. Republicans will get an influx of super-religious conservatives and Democrats get an entire state of minorities — and some seriously open borders.” — DESI LYDIC
The Punchiest Punchlines (Pizza Hut Edition)
“Mark Wahlberg has been named 2017’s highest paid male actor. Yeah. Today, Mark said, ‘I don’t know why, either.’” — CONAN O’BRIEN
“I know that he’s been president for seven months, but seeing Donald Trump making military decisions is still weird for me. I mean, he must be the first human being in history who gets to command an army after starring in a Pizza Hut commercial.” — TREVOR NOAH
“There’s a new beer coming out that contains marijuana. Unfortunately, the inventor cannot for the life of him remember how he made it.” — CONAN O’BRIEN
The Bits Worth Watching
Mr. O’Brien donned his leering Letterman affect when speaking to Lea DeLaria. He was particularly interested in asking about her “Orange Is the New Black” sex scenes.
Desus and Mero don’t have a lot of sympathy for Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin’s wife, who tagged all the pricey brands she was wearing in an Instagram photo — then dressed down a stranger who criticized her.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Kathy Bates stars as an aging stoner and a new marijuana dispensary proprietor in “Disjointed,” an upcoming Netflix series. She’ll talk to Mr. O’Brien on Wednesday.
Also, Check This Out
Mayor Bill de Blasio is ordering New York art institutions to make their staffs and boards more racially and ethnically diverse. Most of the city’s major museum boards are plagued by underrepresentation of minorities, a Times investigation found.
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