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Trevor Noah Says if Simpson Is a Model Prisoner, Maybe He Should Stay


All the late-night hosts, including Trevor Noah, took on the news of O.J. Simpson’s victory before a parole board.

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Juice, Loose

The late-night hosts all had their own takes on O. J. Simpson’s victory before a parole board on Thursday afternoon.

“A lot of people didn’t know how to feel about the news. On one hand, O. J. is a convicted felon. But, on the other hand, he managed to keep Trump off TV for a whole afternoon.” — JIMMY FALLON

“O. J. actually video-conferenced into his parole hearing today, because the board was 120 miles away from his prison. Not a good sign when even the parole board is scared to be near him.” — JIMMY FALLON

Video by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

“He could be released by Oct. 1, on which date he’ll be picked up from the Lovelock Correctional Facility via helicopter and be flown directly to the set of ‘Dancing with the Stars.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“O. J. and his people reminded us that he’s been a model citizen in prison. He petitioned for books for the library, he coached a softball team, he never got in trouble. To me, that’s kind of a reason to keep him in prison — it’s the only place he’s not committing crimes.” — TREVOR NOAH

Colbert Hunts for the Tale of the ‘Tape’

Video by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

In what he called the culmination of his “Russia Week,” Stephen Colbert offered a tour of the Ritz-Carlton’s presidential suite in Moscow, where President Trump famously stayed during the 2016 campaign.

Imagining a Confederate Present

Roy Wood Jr. of “The Daily Show” recently heard about a coming HBO series called “Confederate,” imagining a present in which the Confederacy had won the Civil War. He’s not sure it sounds all that original.

“Who could even imagine such a strange reality? A modern-day America where Confederate flags fly everywhere, black people are treated like [expletive] and white supremacists run the country! Where do they come up with this?” — ROY WOOD JR.

“Why do we need this? We already have a show about black people working hard for no money. It’s called college basketball.” — ROY WOOD JR.

The Punchiest Punchlines (Tossup Edition)

Video by The Daily Show With Trevor Noah

“That was back in 1993, when it was still a coin toss which one of those guys would be president, and which would end up in jail.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, showing a photo of O. J. Simpson with Mr. Trump

“Mr. President, I hate to be the one to break it to you: Macron wasn’t holding your hands because he liked it, he was just trying to keep them off his wife.” — TREVOR NOAH, referring to President Trump’s statement that President Emmanuel Macron of France “loves holding my hand”

The Bits Worth Watching

“I have a very simple test for fairness: Does this thing earn me money, make me look smart or arouse me sexually? If the answer to any of those is no, totally unfair!”

Video by Comedy Central

“And do you know who Jeff Sessions is?”

Video by Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Enjoy the Weekend

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