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I spent 10 years studying what makes us happy in life—here’s the No. 1 thing I overlooked the entire time


Ten years ago, I set out to find the framework for a happier life. Testing the wisdom of the ages with scientific research, I learned how to strengthen my relationships, increase energy and more.

But a few years ago, I started to notice that I felt stuck in my head — disconnected from other people and from myself.

Suddenly, I realized that I’d been treating my body like a car that my brain was driving around town. But it was actually my body — through my five senses — that was my essential con­nection to the world.

I didn’t want to come to the end of my life and think, “So many things happened to me. I wish I’d been paying attention.” 

While writing my book, “Life in Five Senses,” I discovered some surprising ways that our senses can help us to focus more deeply, live longer and spark happiness.

1. Need a burst of energy and cheer? Use your sense of smell.

When you need a quick lift, you can indulge in beautiful smells by taking a deep whiff of clean towels at home or fine wood at a hardware store.

With a scent, you can’t bookmark it, rewind it, stockpile it or save it for later. It ties you the present moment and, at the same time, can transport you to your past.

The smell of eucalyptus, for example, always reminds me of the 10 months I lived in San Francisco.

Smells can also boost awareness, too. When I left my building one bright morning, I received several neighborhood updates: Today was trash day; the food cart on the corner was frying bacon; and a passerby was enjoying some early marijuana.

2. Stressed out? Use your sense of touch.

Items such as pop toys, fidget spinners and therapy dough can help us to feel calmer. 

A friend told me, “My aunt works in palliative care, and they just recently put in a big order of light, cuddly throws. It’s really comforting for people to touch something soft and warm.”

I have my own idiosyncratic way to use my sense of touch. When I’m in a situation that makes me anxious, like being backstage before giving a big talk, I hold a pen. 

3. Feeling distracted and unproductive? Use your sense of sound.

4. Need a creative spark? Use your sense of sight.

When I need some inspiration, I try to spot the small details. During my daily walks, instead of getting lost in my thoughts, I give myself assignments: Look for the color purple, or at the trees, or at hats.

I’d study the materials of the different apartment buildings. One was made of dark red-brown bricks, the next of white brick, the next of yellowish smooth stone slabs. I had walked these blocks hundreds of times, and I’d never noticed the mismatch before.

The more I looked, the stronger the habit grew. I found more beauty — in the surprising orange tweed of a woman’s coat, in a flock of birds wheeling overhead — and I also found more whimsy.

5. Want to feel closer to other people? Use your sense of taste.

Inside a retiree's $420/month apartment by the beach in Mexico

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